Receiving the generosity of God

Are my hands empty and open with expectant belief, ready, willing and able to receive all the good that God wants to pour over me? Are my heart and mind even prepared to consider all the riches in store for me, as a child of the King of kings?

You see, 3 years ago this month I retired from my career as a registered nurse, and in that “self sufficient life“ I was the king. I was walking around in the delusion that I was the master of my own destiny, I was the one providing for my family, I was large and in charge. But just under the surface i lived in chaos and fear and anxiety. I was a slave to money and success. Of course no one could see it, but the constant worry influenced all of my thoughts and emotions. Is there enough ? Will I fail ? On and on. In this state I most certainly was NOT prepared to accept all the blessings God had in store for me. My hands weren’t open nor empty, rather they were gripped tight in a desperate struggle to hang on to my life.

“ For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25

Reflecting on my human nature’s absolute defiance that I am in fact NOT God, requires an act of surrender, or in my case brokenness.

Sometimes I wish gratitude and humility were like a set of clothes I could just put on and then I’d magically be changed, but it wasn’t that way for me. It took a lot of dying to myself, daily turning my inner turmoil over to God. The mighty king of Pride just had to go for there to be any room at all for Jesus to do His transformative thing in my life. For me that meant submitting to God in a completely different way every single day. Coming to an unfamiliar place, an unfamiliar language and doing unfamiliar things, like waiting on Him to provide my every single need, expecting in faith that He can, will, and has moved others to be so very generous to the Nest.

I look around here at the Nest and absolutely everything we own isn’t ours and all of it has been unearned. There’s so much grace waiting for all of us if only we are prepared to receive it. And I’m not only talking about the material stuff like shovels and hammers, pickup trucks and chainsaws. But the real gold, like seeing hundreds of BriBri kids come here to feel safe and loved sitting under the Good News of the gospel. Also the dozens of short term mission groups, and lives touched in an ever expanding ripple of peace and belonging that can only be found completely in an identity with our creator.

On top of that, there is the very real reward for those that have been generous with their time, money, and talents. They’re the true winners in the equation,

“The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”

Proverb 11:25

Well, we’re all winners really in this family of God (when we do it right anyways), leaning towards each other in love and service.

Jesus has been reshaping me from the inside out, much the same way that I see Him building and transforming what was once an impenetrable jungle into a village that is overcome with peace, purpose, and gratitude.

Allow me to close this thought with a real quick world experience. The other day I was driving down the rough jungle road in the Nest's anonymous gift of a brand new Toyota pickup truck. I mean never in a million years could we have afforded such a useful luxury. But there I was, and the experience was utterly new to me. In the past I would have felt pride and “ look at ME and MY big new diesel truck”. Instead I was overwhelmed with gratitude and humility, prayerfully thanking God for His abundance. And I know circumstances come and go, like maybe a big tree will fall on the truck next week or something, but God never changes, and keeping His blessings in that constant open handed posture of heart is what really matters.

Ok, let’s get to some updates from the Nest. We just concluded a very successful women’s and children’s conference here last weekend. We had a great turn out, everyone was encouraged and enthusiastic as the Word was made alive. The dream team from Texas were excellent and really got personally involved with those BriBri in attendance.

Naju, our resident girl has been thriving here, smiling and laughing, finally feeling safe for the first time in many years. Continue praying for her, as we lead her to turn her trauma and inner pain over to Jesus and see herself as loved and highly valued in Gods sight.

Also next week we are starting our huge project of bringing a full spectrum, professional solar system to support all the current and future electrical needs of the Nest. Once again, the generosity of others moved by God has graced us with this gift. We can’t wait to flip on the lights sometime before Christmas!

Well I guess that’s it for now. ( those of you new subscribers to the blog… they are not usually this long )

With love and gratitude

James Beach